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Did You Hear About.....

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Master Chef
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    Posted: 17 October 2016 at 06:44
I thought it would be fun to share jokes that have some sort of food connection.

Remember our rules about politeness and mutual respect, though. So let's not here about the two blondes in the refrigerator.

On the other hand, did you hear about the snail that goes into a Mazda dealer to buy a Z car? He picks out the accessories he likes, and the colors, and the mag wheels.

"There's one last thing," he tells the salesman. "I want you to change the Z to an S."

"Not a problem," the salesman says. "But why do you want an S instead of a Z?"

"That way," sez the snail, "when I drive down the road people will say, 'look at the S car go.'"

But we hae meat and we can eat
And sae the Lord be thanket
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TasunkaWitko Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 October 2016 at 08:28
Ba-dum-BING!
If you are a visitor and like what you see, please click here and join the discussions in our community!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HistoricFoodie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 October 2016 at 12:41
Hey! I didn't say it was a good joke.
But we hae meat and we can eat
And sae the Lord be thanket
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hoser Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 October 2016 at 02:16
Hey ...sometimes it gets so cold out here in New England, you see a chicken walking around with a cape on.
Go ahead...play with your food!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hoser Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 October 2016 at 02:43
Go ahead...play with your food!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HistoricFoodie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 October 2016 at 05:04
>you see a chicken walking around with a cape on. <

Alright, Dave. Who's gonna clean the coffee off my screen?
But we hae meat and we can eat
And sae the Lord be thanket
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hoser Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 November 2016 at 02:30
Q: What does a thesaurus have for breakfast?

A: Well....a synonym bun of course!
Go ahead...play with your food!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HistoricFoodie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 November 2016 at 04:40
Boo! Hsss!
But we hae meat and we can eat
And sae the Lord be thanket
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pitrow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 November 2016 at 09:12
Originally posted by Hoser Hoser wrote:

Q: What does a thesaurus have for breakfast?

A: Well....a synonym bun of course!


groan! Clap
Mike
Life in PitRow - My often neglected, somewhat eccentric, occasionally outstanding blog
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hoser Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 December 2016 at 02:59
Think about it for a couple of minutes.....Smile
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HistoricFoodie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 December 2016 at 08:27
So, a rooster flies up to the peak of the roof and lays an egg perfectly balanced on it.

The roof, which is 32 feet high, faces N/S. If the wind comes up from the Northeast, at 6 mph, what direction will the egg roll until falling off the roof?

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Melissa Mead Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 December 2016 at 19:14
First, I want to know how a rooster laid an egg.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HistoricFoodie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 December 2016 at 07:29
Awh, Melissa. You went and spoiled it.

I was waiting to see how many folks didn't catch that.

Oh, well. Next time
But we hae meat and we can eat
And sae the Lord be thanket
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Melissa Mead Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 December 2016 at 07:35
Sorry! I thought the point was to see how quickly someone would catch on. Embarrassed
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HistoricFoodie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 December 2016 at 06:52


On the other hand, you hear about the priest and the rabbi who find themselves sitting next to each other on a plane. They talk about this and that, and, at one point, the priest says, "tell me, rabbi, all in confidence, strictly between men of the cloth, did you ever eat pork??

The rabbi looks around, lowers his voice, and responds, "well, father, in all confidence, strictly as men of the cloth, once, in my youth, I tried a ham sandwich. It wasn't bad, to tell the truth."

The go back to talking about this and that, sports, and the state of the world, and so forth. And then the rabbi say, "tell me father, in strictest confidence, wholly between men of the cloth, did you ever have sex?"

The priest looks around, lowers his voice until it can barely be heard, and says, "to tell the truth, rabbi, in total confidence, strictly between men of the cloth, once, when I was younger, I slept with a women."

The rabbi looks at him with a twinkle in his eye, and says, "beats ham all to hell, don't it!"

And, before anyone jumps salty, I was told that story by a Jesuit.
But we hae meat and we can eat
And sae the Lord be thanket
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hoser Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 December 2016 at 04:37
Early one morning the Mole family awoke and Daddy mole climbed to the 
top of the mole hole and sniffed the air. 
"I smell bacon frying." he said. 
Momma mole crowded in beside him and sniffed the air, 
"I smell eggs cooking." she said. 
Baby mole tried and tried to get to the top but there was no room left 
so he said, "All I can smell is molasses!"
Go ahead...play with your food!
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